Translated by Denise Schwab
 

The initial phase of awareness that marriage is ending is extremely painful to the couple. Problems began to solidify over several years and when the marriage ends, respect and love is lacking on both sides, and there is also misunderstandings, accusations and arguments. Divorce is a drastic and difficult step to be faced. There is much guilt, shame, anger, sadness, anxiety, failure and grief. There is much concern about the feelings and the future of the couple's children.

How divorce affects children?

The effects of divorce on children are present in a wide variety. The couple should seek to strive to be friendly and understanding with one another to support the healthy development of the child. A contested divorce and / or a court battle to obtain custody of the child cause extensive damage to the child who experiences feelings of guilt about parents’ separation. In a critical situation like a divorce, it is easy to focus on yourself and forget the needs of the children during and after the procedure. Expressions of anger and quarrels also cause much damage to the children.

How to manage the needs of children during the divorce?

 ● Manage the visits with mom or dad in the most friendly as possible;
 ● Make every effort to ensure that the children know that divorce is not their fault;
 ● If possible, ensure that the children see both parents regularly and have their own space in both homes;

 ● Make it clear to the children that the divorce decision has been made. Parents will not come back to stay together and that this decision will not change because of some reaction or behavior of the child;
 ● Do not use your children as confident about your relationships, but on the other hand do not keep secret from them about what is happening;
 ● Make sure your children know you love them regardless of what happened;
 ● Seek help from a counselor or psychologist if you have noticed signs of stress in your child;
 ● Inform the school and the teachers of your children about the changes that are happening in their lives. Make sure that the teachers will be alert to changes in behavior and promptly will warn parents, so the child will receive help as quickly as possible;
 ● Seek professional help for you if you feel depressed or have difficulty to deal with the changes in your life and your recovery.

Source: www.mdconsult.com Accessed 20/dez/2009